Thursday, December 13, 2007

The upcoming aussie dhulaayi

Dhulaayi is Hindi for washing.
Which is what will happen in all likelihood to the Indian Cricket Team on their tour to Australia. A very clean Surf-Excel whitewash.
Though a die-hard India supporter, I cant help but shudder at the prospect. Just a look at the itinerary - http://content-ind.cricinfo.com/ausvind/content/series/291320.html?template=schedule - makes it hard to hope for anything better than a 0-2 result for India. We will lose the traditional first test, and definitely the Perth one.

Why?

1. We are going into the Tests after exactly ONE tour match. How the #@$% is that enough acclimatization after the Indian flat-tracks ?

2. We dont have the bowling to take 20 wickets in a Test match.

3. Aussie pace - Tait, Johnson and Lee are seriously quick. The Indian batsmen's ability to play genuine pace will be found out.

4. Indian batting. Each batsmen deserves special mention.

Wasim Jaffer - Flat track bully. Will be cruelly exposed.
Virender Sehwag - Very shady selection. Hasnt done enough to inspire confidence. Will be attacked in the rib-cage area, and on the offstump corridor.
Rahul Dravid - Of late, is showing some weakness against the quick incoming deliveries. Surely the Aussies have noticed that too. Still, remains one of the best hopes in batting.
Sachin Tendulkar - Reflexes have noticeably slowed down, and he is quite suspect at handling fast bouncers.
Sourav Ganguly - Not the best technique or footwork against pace, but he is playing for his place in the side, might do decently.
VVS Laxman - The dark horse to me. I think he has the best chance of the lot against the Aussie attack.
Yuvraj Singh - IF he gets to play, he will be an impact player. Will either be dismissed within 20 or will make big scores.
MS Dhoni - Not the best technique, but lots of temperament. Should give a good account of himself.

IMO, the ideal batting lineup will be Ganguly, Dravid, Laxman, Tendulkar, Yuvraj, Dhoni, Pathan, Kumble, Murali, Harbhajan/Pankaj Singh, Zaheer

No place for Sehwag & Jaffer in the team. 5 bowlers, with Pathan playing as an allrounder.

But does Kumble have the guts to make the tough calls ?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sivaji The BOSS - The day after

Just watched Mr Rajnikanth's latest movie, and I dont know what to say. Actually, I want to say too many things at once...

For one, its a long movie. Well over 3 hours on the clock, but seems like the end of all time on the theater seat.

Secondly, the heroine - Shriya. Wow! Looks great in every frame; even in some of the most outlandishly-shot song sequences. Probably the best reason to watch this movie.

Then the ambience. Probably a multiplex is not the best place to experience a Rajni movie. I was the only person to let out catcalls and whistles through the whole movie. Sad, but true. Multiplex-goers suck ! Having their hands full of nachos, popcorn, bottled water doesnt help either.

The storyline? Formula Shankar-fare. Protagonist is a man of integrity, gets frustrated of the corrupt system and takes the law into his own hands. Nothing new. The humour is good; Rajni has always been good at that part, and his sidekick-Vivek does a good job. So much for the substance. The form? Like Janice ( of F*R*I*E*N*D*S fame ) says, O...My...Gaaawd... Mr Shankar seems to think that saying "Cool" at the end of every sentence is cool. I dont know what to say. Also, there is substantial skin show, but discreetly done only in the song sequences. In the other scenes, the heroine is the typical Bharatiya naari. A great balancing act between Rajni's clean family entertainment, and the current trends. Bravo Mr Shankar, u got that one right !

Finally to the man himself... The BOSS ( which incidentally stands for Bachelor of Social Service ). Well, the Boss is in pretty bad shape. At 58, he can hardly move his hips. Every scene requiring some physical exertion appears to be excruciating to the Boss. I cant help but compare him to his older peer, Amitabh Bachchan, who at 65(I think?) is acting in half the Hindi movies made and shaking his leg with Gusto on screen and in award shows. The Boss looks to be badly in need of serious medical attention.

Overall, it was a mediocre experience salvaged only by some bits of good comedy and Shriya's presence. But, for all Rajni fans, this movie is a must-see; it looks like the last movie he will ever make, by the looks of it.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Are you tone-deaf ? (November 11, 2006)

http://jakemandell.com/2006/test-your-musical-skills-in-6-minutes

Not sure if it is scientifically accurate, but good fun anyways...

Sheep in the Big City - The Trailer (October 29, 2006)

Absolutely mind blowing.

Sheep in the Big City Promo

I am convinced that the smartest minds on the planet are either making cartoons or promos for cartoon shows. :-)

The "Spirit of Mumbai" (October 25, 2006)

I have been wanting to say something about this much-abused phrase for a while now, but never did, just like the townsfolk in the Emperor's New Clothes

Here's someone who says it better.

I couldnt agree with him more. I dont understand how a cultivated indifference to human life and decency can be celebrated as a virtue. And what exactly does "Spirit of Mumbai" mean anyway? That Mumbai is no place to live for humans?

My personal experience of Mumbai left the following images in my mind - squalor, gross inequities among human beings and indifference towards fellow citizens.

Coming from Bangalore ( the older version, pre-software era ), the indifference that Mumbaikars show towards others, came as a rude shock. Many times during my stay there, apparent tourists actually approached me for directions or help, after attempts to get help from locals proved futile. The reaction of some of the locals to a stranger approaching them was as if he/she were made of glass ! They just stared straight ahead and went on with their lives.

I actually discussed this with a couple of staunch Mumbaikar colleagues of mine @ Motorola sometime back, and I got the honest answer. Mumbai Junta come back to work the next day after a calamity because they dont have a choice. Its a ruthless city, and every day is a struggle for existence.

These opinions were kinda validated a few months back, when Shobhaa De voiced similar sentiments in her column in the TOI.

My sister works as a doctor in Mumbai and she was saying that the people are finally getting pissed off with the Netas pushing serious infrastructure issues under the carpet while lauding the "Spirit of Mumbai"

Maybe the way to making Mumbai a more humane city lies in exorcising the "spirit" of Mumbai for good. To hell with spirits; give the humans a chance.

Bangalore traffic ( September 25, 2006 )

Here's what my good friend, Mr Gyaan-guru has to say about Bangalore traffic and how to cope with it.

http://gyaan-guru.blogspot.com/2006/09/driving-in-bangalore.html


Dude, what can I say.... When life mistreats and harasses a poet, the angst comes out as poetry.

Replace life with traffic and poetry with bloggery(sic) and there you have it.

Journalism falls down a deep hole ( July 26, 2006 )

Indian media seems to be in a dizzying downward spiral.

First, there is this article in the Times Of India, an example of what happens when you term googling for data as investigative journalism.

And now, reaching the nadir is a 48 hr Live Telecast of a kid falling down a hole, not on one, but all the major news channels in the nation.

One might make concessions for TOI's gaffe, given its positioning as a timepass newspaper, but actually telecasting live, an unfortunate kid's misery ( with commercial breaks, of course ) is atrocious, I think.

To an extent, I believe that the channels are playing to the galleries here. I mean, would all the channels give so much footage to this event if the producers did not believe that there is an audience lapping this up ? I dont think so...

I was arguing about this with a colleague, and he thinks that it is just a case of poor taste from the channel's side. He believes that the channels can actually shape and "improve" audience taste by feeding us with a healthy diet of wholesome content.

I tend to disagree. I feel that, unless you are the clear leader in the domain, you cannot afford to take such commercial risks and try out new stuff. When the competition is hot and the gap is small, the natural judgement call one makes, is to "play it safe". The risk just does not justify the rewards. So, in this case, when a few of the News Channels started primetime coverage of this item, the others ( especially the new ones which are still building their reputations ) had no choice but to follow suit.

I hope I am wrong, otherwise we might be seeing more breaking news of the same genre, maybe one of Laloo's buffaloes got lost, and the search is telecast live ?

Prabhuji ko Pranaam ( July 8, 2006 )

Caunteya showed me this blog entry , and I am now a hardcore fan of Prabhuji.

It seems that Prabhuji is the purveyor of creative callisthenics for your cerebrum, and his body of work is so exhaustive that even Hollywood scriptwriters have internalised some of his original symphonies in celluloid. Closer home, the Tamil superstars, Rajnikanth and Vijaykanth, arent far behind either. Check out this sample

I discovered that there is a lot to catch up on, so a visit to National Market is in order, to buy the good stuff. There is one masterpiece that I have been fortunate enough to witness with my own eyes...

Scene... A couple of goons have been arrested and are giving the constables a tough time during the "interrogation" with lathis. Enter Mithunda, the honest cop.

The goons have probably caught up with Prabhuji's histrionics( and antics ) on bootleg videos, and are justifiably nervous. Prabhuji has Kanoon ka Junoon in his bloodshot eyes ( cynics might mistake it for the previous night's Scotch ), and he strides in with a purpose. The constables know that they are in the presence of greatness, and slink away humbly.

Prabhuji walks upto the goons, and slowly takes off his police hat after a 5 second freeze frame of those eyes. He then cocks his index finger with a whizzing sound ( those who have watched Rajnikanth in action will know how this is done ) and just pokes it into the wall behind, making a 3 inch hole.

Now, the goons are shit-scared, and are expecting something dramatic, maybe Prabhuji is going to puncture their skulls or something... But they are obviously not aware of the operatic quality of Prabhuji's work; the denouement is more subtle than that... Prabhuji then takes out a pen from his pocket and puts it in the hole in the wall, and then hangs his police hat on the pen. For some reason, this breaks the mental strength of the goons, who submit to the Supreme Being and confess their sins.

Sublime stuff.

Third new office in a year !!! ( May 10, 2006 )

Amazon, Bangalore is moving ( again ) . This time, the Chosen Location is on Miller's Road. Believe it or not, this is going to be the third office within the last 8 months ( and fourth in the last 20 months ).
We are working on bleeding-edge technologies , and building highly-scalable distributed systems from scratch at the Bangalore center. Notwithstanding, I still think that we are taking stealth-mode operation to a whole new level. :-)

Bangalored! ( May 10, 2006 )

I am currently reading this book - Bangalored! - by Eshwar Sundaresan, and it is quite engrossing. I have been through around a hundred pages so far, and it has been mostly about people who have adopted Bangalore as their new home... expats, first-generation Americans whose parents have Indian roots... It feels good to know that some of these folk are giving something back to this (once) amazing city !

Of late, all I hear from the people around me is complaints about the city's infrastructure or its lack of a cultural life ( unlike NewYork )... etc etc. I feel annoyed when people criticise my city, but I usually let it go. The very fact that these folks have quit their homes and have adopted this apparently "screwed-up city" , makes any riposte superfluous.

But the rising percentage of immigrant population in Bangalore is adding to the already existing mess in Bangalore. Since people do not percieve this place as their long-term home, their behavioural patterns are biased towards short-term gains, which is not good for the long-term well-being of the city, such as not participating in civic causes, buying or living in low-quality houses/apartments ( Its a temporary home, right ? ), not integrating with the local populace.

The last point especially, is a very critical shortcoming in my opinion. By staying disconnected from the local culture/people, immigrants further alienate themselves from the locals. This, coupled with the fact that most of the immigrants are salaried middle-class or upper middle-class folk, propogates the perception that - "Outsiders have come to Bangalore and are taking away our jobs" - leading to social unrest and eventually to crime.
Unless the powers-that-be take notice and start doing something to arrest this trend, Bangalore is on the fast-lane to being another Mumbai - a ruthless urban jungle, each one to herself/himself.

History and its relevance ( May 10, 2006 )

Pawan sent me this link... http://history.eserver.org/ghandi-nobody-knows.txt

Apart from the fact that the author mis-spelt Gandhi's name, there seems to be a lot wrong with his rather long essay.

It is common knowledge that History is just a widely-accepted version of what really happened. And anyway, even if Gandhi wasnt the superstar that he is made out to be in history, how does it matter ? India needed a larger-than-life figurehead to rally around, at that point of time, and Gandhi served that purpose ( and served it well ).
If glossing over some weaknesses and conveniently altering some facts can create a role-model for people to emulate, what's wrong with that ? If one were to dig deeper into any event in history, there would always be inconsistencies and controversial circumstances and conflicting points of view. Eventually, people makeup history, and people are moody, self-centred at times, have preconceptions and value systems... and anything reported by a person will always have the various flavors(!) of his personal life at that point of time.

If one sets out on an iconoclastic mission, there is no logical end to it, and when you have demolished all role-models and beacons of hope, there is very little to live for. I am reminded of the life of Nietzsche, who was an incredibly astute individual but died at the age of 44, of mental collapse, purportedly due to disillusionment with life.