Friday, April 24, 2009

Fake player, real rumors

The insider's view

This blog has been catching on like wildfire in the past few days. At the moment of writing this, there are more followers of this blog than spectators at the 1 PM matches of the IPL.

There have been privately commissioned investigations to uncover the fiend who is washing the Knight Riders' laundry in public. ( It's besides the point that very few self-respecting individuals would want to be seen washing their classy black-and-gold laundry in public ) This fact, in itself, seems to confirm that the author has access to insiders of the KKR camp. It is a fair assumption that the author isn't himself one of the team members - there's too much at stake for the players, especially those of KKR, who are mostly fringe players.

Besides some inside dirt from the KKR camp though, its mostly old wine in new bottles. Most of the personality stereotypes that are reaffirmed, were already known or atleast strongly suspected by those of us who follow the game closely. Kishan Kanhaiya's womanizing ways are the stuff of legends for over 2 decades now. Lordie's aversion for physical exertion and his snooty ways too are well known and well-documented in the media; well, Australian and British media anyways. Also, Lordie's inexplicable preference for Kaan Moolo has been fiercely debated amongst ourselves over the last decade. The explanation progressed from regionalism in team selection to homosexual connotations as our world-view expanded over time. As for Appam Chutiya and Patiala Prince, the author seems to be venting his personal prejudices into these characters of the plot.

In any case, its good fun when taken with the necessary pinch of salt, and I hope the fun and games continue. Personally, I am looking forward to more dirt about the standoff between the coach, the current and former captains and the franchise owner... Cricket and Bollywood, what an idea sirjee!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Bird on the balcony

Alright, I admit... I've been guilty in the past of boasting about the birds that I've sighted from my balcony... the hitlist includes the Golden Oriole, Rose-ringed Parakeet, Shikra & Asian Koel. Still, I was quite unprepared for what happened a couple of days back.

It was a normal evening, and after a hectic schedule of switching channels on the telly, I stepped out into the balcony to get some fresh air... And there's this massive Brown Kite sitting in the balcony. Ten feet away from me. I've seen cobras a couple of feet from my eye, but this was still quite unnerving. Size does matter I guess. Also, the inch long talons, the hooked beak and the beady eyes staring straight into mine.

After a few seconds of gathering my wits, I rushed to get my cam and get some documentation shots of the nocturnal visitor; it was twilight time when this happened. Now the difficult part - driving this dude away. I tried to shoo him, but it seemed like he was old, semi-blind and hard of hearing. He just ignored me. Even when I approached as close as five feet. And I wasn't brave enough to venture any closer. Next I brought out a pole and tried intimidation. He spread out his wings... all five feet of them, and I slunk away humbly. Onto the next tactic - water. Sprinkling a few glasses of water on him elicited an unusual reaction. He spread out his wings and seemed to welcome the cooling shower!

The situation obviously called for the heavy armoury to be unleashed. Back I came with a big bucketful of water and started bombarding him. He took the first few blows manfully in the chest, but the fifth and sixth rounds knocked him off the balcony and he landed awkwardly on the tarmac. It seemed like he was either injured or old or purblind, since he didnt make any efforts to fly away. Instead, he walked (like a vulture) with dignity and positioned himself behind my car, seriously freaking out a couple of dogs lying there. The dogs, who have no problem chasing cars, looked nervously at this dude, unsure whether to attack or retreat. He spread out his wings and hopped towards them, and they retreated, leaving him alone for the rest of the night. My mom tells me that another kite came in the morning and escorted this guy out safely.

A very unusual experience, but somehow I find such close encounters with animals almost spiritual.