Two different encounters with strangers.
The first, while on a nature trail in Maharashtra. A retired army officer who was part of the group, asks me politely - "Are you a HR manager somewhere?". I nod my "No", and ask him what made him think that. And he responds - "You have that air of calm and wisdom about you. That is something I have noticed with people who deal with other people a lot"
The second, closer to home, when I was resting on the park bench after my daily jog. Another uncle who was also perambulating the same trail, stopped and asked me - "Are you an author?". Again, I nod my disagreement and ask him why he felt what he felt. He responds - "You seemed to be in deep contemplation, so I thought maybe you are an author or something, thinking about your work". To put things in a bit of perspective, I was wearing bright orange and blue running tees, shorts and running shoes.
A couple of unusual encounters. Wonder why people associate the intellectual tag with anyone wearing glasses...
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
So long, Freddie
Flintoff to retire from Test Cricket
Hmm... What took you so long, Freddie? You should have "listened to your body" as soon as you signed that million pound contract with the Chennai Super Kings.
Now your sudden decision will be the only reason why the Pommies will lose disgracefully to an Aussie team whose entire bowling attack is making an Ashes debut.
I cannot help recalling what Krish Srikkanth wrote about you when you came onto the scene in '98. He said -
I thought that was a bit harsh at the time, but the stats speak for themselves. To quote Vince Lombardi,
I thought that the ability was never lacking; what was missing was the desire and the will. The desire to become a genuine all-rounder who can turn a game with either bat or ball. That is what Ian Botham could do. And what Imran Khan modelled himself to be, towards the end of his career. But you were never a serious threat with the bat. The temperament to concede the bowler a good spell, and guts it out in the middle, was rarely on display. And just like Kapil Dev, you were content to be considered a bowling-allrounder; batting was just some fun in the middle.
And, if u really considered yourself a bowler first, and a fast bowler at that, you never showed the discipline and professionalism to take care of the body. If you had listened to your body more often, you might atleast have prolonged your lucrative T20 career a bit more. ( Maybe that is the cunning plan now? ) And also avoided embarrassing comparisons to used automobiles.
Hmm... What took you so long, Freddie? You should have "listened to your body" as soon as you signed that million pound contract with the Chennai Super Kings.
Now your sudden decision will be the only reason why the Pommies will lose disgracefully to an Aussie team whose entire bowling attack is making an Ashes debut.
I cannot help recalling what Krish Srikkanth wrote about you when you came onto the scene in '98. He said -
" Andrew Flintoff is being compared to the great Ian Botham so soon after he has burst onto the scene. He is nowhere near the class of Botham and will not have a cricketing record anywhere near Botham's by the time he is done"- or something to that effect.
I thought that was a bit harsh at the time, but the stats speak for themselves. To quote Vince Lombardi,
" The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."
I thought that the ability was never lacking; what was missing was the desire and the will. The desire to become a genuine all-rounder who can turn a game with either bat or ball. That is what Ian Botham could do. And what Imran Khan modelled himself to be, towards the end of his career. But you were never a serious threat with the bat. The temperament to concede the bowler a good spell, and guts it out in the middle, was rarely on display. And just like Kapil Dev, you were content to be considered a bowling-allrounder; batting was just some fun in the middle.
And, if u really considered yourself a bowler first, and a fast bowler at that, you never showed the discipline and professionalism to take care of the body. If you had listened to your body more often, you might atleast have prolonged your lucrative T20 career a bit more. ( Maybe that is the cunning plan now? ) And also avoided embarrassing comparisons to used automobiles.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Indian Stock Markets - an analysis of the analysts
Statutory warning/disclaimer: All characters appearing below are fictitious. They are not modeled after any real world individuals. Even if they are, I am not admitting that here. But they are not. Though their names might rhyme with some real world characters with same surnames. That's just a coincidence. God promise.
Scene: Studio of CNBC-TV18, India's premier business channel. 11:00 IST on a normal trading day in the markets. The anchor, one of the few on Indian television with a stable emotional quotient, is running a phone-in investment advisory show. The advisors on the show are the heavyweights of Indian Investing, each with his/her own unique methodology. The heavy lingo is subtexted and parenthesized for the layperson where appropriate.
Udayan Mukherji : Markets are moving sideways today, and might remain range-bound until the news flows consolidate and the new momentum leaders emerge.
( stocks are moving up and down. Some are moving up and some are moving down. I have no clue why, but I am sure that some stocks will continue to move up and down and I dare you to prove me wrong. )
Lets take a caller now. Please go ahead with your question now, ma'am.
Unsuspecting Caller : Sir, I have bought 1000 stocks of Super Hit Info Tech Ltd at 500Rs each. Now the stock is trading at 20Rs. What should I do?
(The correct answer to this question would be - "You got screwed. It happens to most clueless investors in the stock markets. Accept that reality and move on to better things in life". But the "experts" couldn't say that. )
Lotmany Gujral: If u look at the stock curve for SHIT Ltd, you will see a pattern emerging. The 30 day moving average dropped from 36 to 24. If it rises to 36, it will form a typical Pamela Anderson pattern. This pattern indicates large volumes and rapid rise not based on fundamentals. One may ride this upsurge to book large profits.
(Technical Analysis, Shmechnical Analysis. I have no clue. Never had one. Anyway, why are you even asking me? I've never got a prediction right in my life. Wait! Shit, this is my livelihood and I am too unfit for any physical labour! I take that all back. Technical Analysis rules. Please keep calling me back on this channel. )
Bhayankar Sharma: Look, it doesnt matter if you are running downhill inside a speeding train which is moving uphill. The fact of the matter is, India is in a secular long term bear market interspersed with brief stints of bull runs. Look what happened with JP Associates. It was once at 1000 levels and now its languishing at 200 levels.
( What makes you think that I will answer a question, any question? I reserve the right to express a tangential opinion on broad macro economics, which I understand better than anyone else. Especially after the event. And I hate the fact that I missed out on the JP Associates story. Damn those bulls! I love myself. I think I might even be in love with myself. I am one sexy stud. Did I trim my moustache right today? )
Amir Arora: Udayan, at the end of the day, the market is always right. The only thing that matters is how much money you took off the table. IT sector is experiencing strong headwinds, but who is to say that they wont reinvent themselves?
( Did I just break my streak of answering every question with some metaphysical mumbo jumbo? Or worse, did I actually give out any real stock recommendations? Guess not... Its all good. )
Rock-esh TunTunwala: I don't think this SHIT ltd is an attractive investment. There are much better investments at current levels. Look at the numbers for Global Soft, it's in the same space, but has a high growth trajectory and cash on books. Its trading at an attractive P/E multiple of 200. Who am I to judge fundamentals? Market is always right.
( I don't own a stake in SHIT Ltd. I do have a stake in Global Soft. That's the only fundamental that matters. I rock, bcos my name is rockesh. )
Scene: Studio of CNBC-TV18, India's premier business channel. 11:00 IST on a normal trading day in the markets. The anchor, one of the few on Indian television with a stable emotional quotient, is running a phone-in investment advisory show. The advisors on the show are the heavyweights of Indian Investing, each with his/her own unique methodology. The heavy lingo is subtexted and parenthesized for the layperson where appropriate.
Udayan Mukherji : Markets are moving sideways today, and might remain range-bound until the news flows consolidate and the new momentum leaders emerge.
( stocks are moving up and down. Some are moving up and some are moving down. I have no clue why, but I am sure that some stocks will continue to move up and down and I dare you to prove me wrong. )
Lets take a caller now. Please go ahead with your question now, ma'am.
Unsuspecting Caller : Sir, I have bought 1000 stocks of Super Hit Info Tech Ltd at 500Rs each. Now the stock is trading at 20Rs. What should I do?
(The correct answer to this question would be - "You got screwed. It happens to most clueless investors in the stock markets. Accept that reality and move on to better things in life". But the "experts" couldn't say that. )
Lotmany Gujral: If u look at the stock curve for SHIT Ltd, you will see a pattern emerging. The 30 day moving average dropped from 36 to 24. If it rises to 36, it will form a typical Pamela Anderson pattern. This pattern indicates large volumes and rapid rise not based on fundamentals. One may ride this upsurge to book large profits.
(Technical Analysis, Shmechnical Analysis. I have no clue. Never had one. Anyway, why are you even asking me? I've never got a prediction right in my life. Wait! Shit, this is my livelihood and I am too unfit for any physical labour! I take that all back. Technical Analysis rules. Please keep calling me back on this channel. )
Bhayankar Sharma: Look, it doesnt matter if you are running downhill inside a speeding train which is moving uphill. The fact of the matter is, India is in a secular long term bear market interspersed with brief stints of bull runs. Look what happened with JP Associates. It was once at 1000 levels and now its languishing at 200 levels.
( What makes you think that I will answer a question, any question? I reserve the right to express a tangential opinion on broad macro economics, which I understand better than anyone else. Especially after the event. And I hate the fact that I missed out on the JP Associates story. Damn those bulls! I love myself. I think I might even be in love with myself. I am one sexy stud. Did I trim my moustache right today? )
Amir Arora: Udayan, at the end of the day, the market is always right. The only thing that matters is how much money you took off the table. IT sector is experiencing strong headwinds, but who is to say that they wont reinvent themselves?
( Did I just break my streak of answering every question with some metaphysical mumbo jumbo? Or worse, did I actually give out any real stock recommendations? Guess not... Its all good. )
Rock-esh TunTunwala: I don't think this SHIT ltd is an attractive investment. There are much better investments at current levels. Look at the numbers for Global Soft, it's in the same space, but has a high growth trajectory and cash on books. Its trading at an attractive P/E multiple of 200. Who am I to judge fundamentals? Market is always right.
( I don't own a stake in SHIT Ltd. I do have a stake in Global Soft. That's the only fundamental that matters. I rock, bcos my name is rockesh. )
More Chuck Norris facts
There's been a spate of Chuck Norris facts all around me; email forwards, twitter updates, facebook status'es... Couldnt resist making some up :)
- Nobody knows Chuck Norris' blood group... because nobody ever made Chuck Norris bleed.
- Chuck Norris doesn't carry a credit card, he always pays by Chuck.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a deodorant; he never breaks a sweat.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use a search engine; he knows where everything is.
- Chuck Norris doesnt use any mode of transport; he just leaps and the earth rotates till his destination is beneath him.
- God created Hell so that the baddies could relax after being thrashed by Chuck Norris.
- Lions weren't endangered; until they got into an argument with Chuck Norris about who has better facial hair.
- The earth doesnt rotate; Chuck Norris uses it as a treadmill.
- There are no donkeys in the US; they all know that Chuck Norris likes to whoop some ass.
- When Chuck Norris is in The Matrix, he's not The One; he's The Only One.
- Volcanoes are a myth; sometimes Chuck Norris has too much baked beans.
- Nobody knows Chuck Norris' blood group... because nobody ever made Chuck Norris bleed.
- Chuck Norris doesn't carry a credit card, he always pays by Chuck.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a deodorant; he never breaks a sweat.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use a search engine; he knows where everything is.
- Chuck Norris doesnt use any mode of transport; he just leaps and the earth rotates till his destination is beneath him.
- God created Hell so that the baddies could relax after being thrashed by Chuck Norris.
- Lions weren't endangered; until they got into an argument with Chuck Norris about who has better facial hair.
- The earth doesnt rotate; Chuck Norris uses it as a treadmill.
- There are no donkeys in the US; they all know that Chuck Norris likes to whoop some ass.
- When Chuck Norris is in The Matrix, he's not The One; he's The Only One.
- Volcanoes are a myth; sometimes Chuck Norris has too much baked beans.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Fake player, real rumors
The insider's view
This blog has been catching on like wildfire in the past few days. At the moment of writing this, there are more followers of this blog than spectators at the 1 PM matches of the IPL.
There have been privately commissioned investigations to uncover the fiend who is washing the Knight Riders' laundry in public. ( It's besides the point that very few self-respecting individuals would want to be seen washing their classy black-and-gold laundry in public ) This fact, in itself, seems to confirm that the author has access to insiders of the KKR camp. It is a fair assumption that the author isn't himself one of the team members - there's too much at stake for the players, especially those of KKR, who are mostly fringe players.
Besides some inside dirt from the KKR camp though, its mostly old wine in new bottles. Most of the personality stereotypes that are reaffirmed, were already known or atleast strongly suspected by those of us who follow the game closely. Kishan Kanhaiya's womanizing ways are the stuff of legends for over 2 decades now. Lordie's aversion for physical exertion and his snooty ways too are well known and well-documented in the media; well, Australian and British media anyways. Also, Lordie's inexplicable preference for Kaan Moolo has been fiercely debated amongst ourselves over the last decade. The explanation progressed from regionalism in team selection to homosexual connotations as our world-view expanded over time. As for Appam Chutiya and Patiala Prince, the author seems to be venting his personal prejudices into these characters of the plot.
In any case, its good fun when taken with the necessary pinch of salt, and I hope the fun and games continue. Personally, I am looking forward to more dirt about the standoff between the coach, the current and former captains and the franchise owner... Cricket and Bollywood, what an idea sirjee!
This blog has been catching on like wildfire in the past few days. At the moment of writing this, there are more followers of this blog than spectators at the 1 PM matches of the IPL.
There have been privately commissioned investigations to uncover the fiend who is washing the Knight Riders' laundry in public. ( It's besides the point that very few self-respecting individuals would want to be seen washing their classy black-and-gold laundry in public ) This fact, in itself, seems to confirm that the author has access to insiders of the KKR camp. It is a fair assumption that the author isn't himself one of the team members - there's too much at stake for the players, especially those of KKR, who are mostly fringe players.
Besides some inside dirt from the KKR camp though, its mostly old wine in new bottles. Most of the personality stereotypes that are reaffirmed, were already known or atleast strongly suspected by those of us who follow the game closely. Kishan Kanhaiya's womanizing ways are the stuff of legends for over 2 decades now. Lordie's aversion for physical exertion and his snooty ways too are well known and well-documented in the media; well, Australian and British media anyways. Also, Lordie's inexplicable preference for Kaan Moolo has been fiercely debated amongst ourselves over the last decade. The explanation progressed from regionalism in team selection to homosexual connotations as our world-view expanded over time. As for Appam Chutiya and Patiala Prince, the author seems to be venting his personal prejudices into these characters of the plot.
In any case, its good fun when taken with the necessary pinch of salt, and I hope the fun and games continue. Personally, I am looking forward to more dirt about the standoff between the coach, the current and former captains and the franchise owner... Cricket and Bollywood, what an idea sirjee!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Bird on the balcony
Alright, I admit... I've been guilty in the past of boasting about the birds that I've sighted from my balcony... the hitlist includes the Golden Oriole, Rose-ringed Parakeet, Shikra & Asian Koel. Still, I was quite unprepared for what happened a couple of days back.
It was a normal evening, and after a hectic schedule of switching channels on the telly, I stepped out into the balcony to get some fresh air... And there's this massive Brown Kite sitting in the balcony. Ten feet away from me. I've seen cobras a couple of feet from my eye, but this was still quite unnerving. Size does matter I guess. Also, the inch long talons, the hooked beak and the beady eyes staring straight into mine.
After a few seconds of gathering my wits, I rushed to get my cam and get some documentation shots of the nocturnal visitor; it was twilight time when this happened. Now the difficult part - driving this dude away. I tried to shoo him, but it seemed like he was old, semi-blind and hard of hearing. He just ignored me. Even when I approached as close as five feet. And I wasn't brave enough to venture any closer. Next I brought out a pole and tried intimidation. He spread out his wings... all five feet of them, and I slunk away humbly. Onto the next tactic - water. Sprinkling a few glasses of water on him elicited an unusual reaction. He spread out his wings and seemed to welcome the cooling shower!
The situation obviously called for the heavy armoury to be unleashed. Back I came with a big bucketful of water and started bombarding him. He took the first few blows manfully in the chest, but the fifth and sixth rounds knocked him off the balcony and he landed awkwardly on the tarmac. It seemed like he was either injured or old or purblind, since he didnt make any efforts to fly away. Instead, he walked (like a vulture) with dignity and positioned himself behind my car, seriously freaking out a couple of dogs lying there. The dogs, who have no problem chasing cars, looked nervously at this dude, unsure whether to attack or retreat. He spread out his wings and hopped towards them, and they retreated, leaving him alone for the rest of the night. My mom tells me that another kite came in the morning and escorted this guy out safely.
A very unusual experience, but somehow I find such close encounters with animals almost spiritual.
It was a normal evening, and after a hectic schedule of switching channels on the telly, I stepped out into the balcony to get some fresh air... And there's this massive Brown Kite sitting in the balcony. Ten feet away from me. I've seen cobras a couple of feet from my eye, but this was still quite unnerving. Size does matter I guess. Also, the inch long talons, the hooked beak and the beady eyes staring straight into mine.
After a few seconds of gathering my wits, I rushed to get my cam and get some documentation shots of the nocturnal visitor; it was twilight time when this happened. Now the difficult part - driving this dude away. I tried to shoo him, but it seemed like he was old, semi-blind and hard of hearing. He just ignored me. Even when I approached as close as five feet. And I wasn't brave enough to venture any closer. Next I brought out a pole and tried intimidation. He spread out his wings... all five feet of them, and I slunk away humbly. Onto the next tactic - water. Sprinkling a few glasses of water on him elicited an unusual reaction. He spread out his wings and seemed to welcome the cooling shower!
The situation obviously called for the heavy armoury to be unleashed. Back I came with a big bucketful of water and started bombarding him. He took the first few blows manfully in the chest, but the fifth and sixth rounds knocked him off the balcony and he landed awkwardly on the tarmac. It seemed like he was either injured or old or purblind, since he didnt make any efforts to fly away. Instead, he walked (like a vulture) with dignity and positioned himself behind my car, seriously freaking out a couple of dogs lying there. The dogs, who have no problem chasing cars, looked nervously at this dude, unsure whether to attack or retreat. He spread out his wings and hopped towards them, and they retreated, leaving him alone for the rest of the night. My mom tells me that another kite came in the morning and escorted this guy out safely.
A very unusual experience, but somehow I find such close encounters with animals almost spiritual.
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