Mayhem in Mumbai

This mirrors my sentiments to a large extent. Not because I subscribe to the author's opinions about "100% security",(though he has a point there... most accidents on US freeways are fatal for exactly this reason - lowered reflexes due to a sense of security about predictability of traffic ) but because I believe that the dynamics of Indian society are such that we can never really hope to see "100% security" in our lifetimes.

"100% security" implies predictability of our systems. To put in place a system which behaves predictably, consistency is also required from the participants. This is a simple problem to solve if there is a uniform civil code for all citizens.

But as a people, Indians are more aligned with narrow self-interest groups like caste/religion/region than with any aspiration for a better quality of life for self. (To complicate matters, there are a few such groups which promise a better quality of afterlife, which seems to motivate some, more than any earthly pleasures) The rootcause for such a mindset is a complicated topic by itself, worthy of a lengthy debate. For me, its the vast gulf between the haves and the rest, leading to disillusionment, death of personal ambition and consequently, seeking of vicarious pleasure through the achievements of others of the same caste/religion/etc. Whatever the reasons, we Indians seem content to look at narrow self-interest rather than make minor adjustments and adhere to a common civil code. Unless this changes, it is highly unlikely that anything can be done to prevent a similar incident occuring in the future.

Have to say though; the commandos certainly deserve a one week all-expenses-paid at the renovated Taj for their selfless bravery. And all of us who are hitherto content with blogging, commenting on blogs, lighting candles, raising white flags, and doing similar useless acts... it might be a good idea to start an NGO that will raise funds to supplement the salaries of these real heroes from the current disgraceful levels - maybe that will embarrass the govt to rationalize the salaries.

Its a mad mad financial world !

This just takes the cake !

Its interesting to see what is happening in the financial world now... The poster-boy of capitalism and free-market economics needs legislative intervention to essentially take socialistic control of loss-making financial institutions. And the big daddy of the communist world is displaying a huge vote of confidence in the free market system.

Apparently, the Chinese have an interesting blessing - "May you live in interesting times"... It looks like those times are upon us now !

Back from Agumbe

Just got back from a very interesting photography expedition in the heart of the western ghats.

The place is so full of interesting creatures & landscapes, that it is a perfect destination for someone looking to experiment with a camera. Now, I need to upload a few of my best shots, and wait for the peer verdict on my photographic skills !

That apart, the expedition reminded me of a trip that a bunch of us classmates went on, 10 years ago... We were young, foolish and full of adrenalin( yeah, me too... ), and we just headed out on a backpacking journey through the western ghats, covering Sringeri, Agumbe, Horanadu, Mangalore, Udupi & Marwanthe, in the course of a 7 day trip.
We shared 2 rooms between 8 of us, mooched free meals in temple towns, hitched rides on random vehicles, trekked through rainforests in our slippers, reached the top of a 200 ft waterfall, were foolish enough to crawl to the precipice just to see the bottom and skinny dipped in random water bodies... among other things !

We also watched Sachin Tendulkar single-handedly murder the Aussies in two dream innings at Sharjah (semis and finals). We did this while sitting on the street(literally, on the asphalt) in the midst of a motley crowd of drunks in Udupi.

And yeah, we did all this on a budget of around 800 Rs per head !

Apple iThing !

This is hilarious !

A case for Azaad Kashmir?

Funny, tongue-in-cheek piece... But the part of the map marked "Territory ceded to China by Pakistan" is very concerning.

Pakistan sets a stop-loss

Looks like our friendly neighbors have some very original ideas to encourage free enterprise and prop up capital markets.

So, its a free market as long as all trades are above prices set by legal mandate ? Absolutely hilarious !

If ever proof was needed about the dysfunctional state of our neighbor, here it is.

Damn !

Inspirational for some, but just depressing to me. Escapism is the best option for those of us who tend to get affected by harsh realities. :(

Sporting Action... DD style

Finally, the Beijing Olympics have drawn to a close... And I heave a huge sigh of relief. And send a sincere prayer upwards. That Doordarshan does not own television rights of international cricket, football or F1.

After the incredibly mind-numbing "commentary" and "analysis" on DD Sports, my brain has lost the will to crib. So, I will have to make do with a simple list of Do's for DD's telecast of London-2012.

1. Can we have a tad more action and a tad less studio discussions please? After all, it is sporting "action", right?

2. Can you please hire commentators who can speak more than 12 words in the course of a mind-blowing, world-record-smashing mens 100m dash ? My recollection of the commentary for Bolt's magical 9.69s is - "Aur yeh saarey pratiyogi shuru karte huey... aur Usain Bolt jeet gaye". Exactly 12 words.

3. While on the same topic, can commentary-uncle please sound a bit more excited? If he cant, I volunteer to do the job for free. Heck, I will pay uncle to let me do his job in 2012. I am quite confident that a lot of us will pay good money to do uncle's job next time.

4. When a sport is being telecast live, what is the need to mute the original commentary and provide studio commentary in Hindi? We all agree - "Mera Bharat Mahaan". Can we move on and listen to some relevant info, rather than insightful remarks like - "Aur yeh laal waaley khiladi jeet gaye", during a wrestling bout ?

5. Mr Milkha Singh is a legend in his own right. But he is also a very bitter individual( for whatever reason ). A little bit of ranting about lack of recognition for other sport(other than cricket), and the sad state of professional sportspersons is good and even necessary. But beyond that, it just leaves a bad aftertaste and can be avoided.

6. Sania Mirza is a phenomenon and an icon. But only in India. There are serious flaws in her game which, if not remedied, will prevent her from ever going any higher than she already has. Lets admit facts, and stop talking her up like she is a champion... which she still isnt. Reminds me of what the Brits do with Tim Henman before every Wimbledon.

7. One more time, a little less conversation and a little more acion please.

End of the road for Sourav?

The countdown has already started, if Peter Roebuck is to be believed...

Stumps for Sourav

But then, as Mr Roebuck himself concedes, Sourav is a warrior, and being cornered is nothing new to him. If anything, the Prince of Kolkota has made a career of making detractors eat humble pie.

As a fan of Sourav, I can only wish that he goes out in the blaze of glory that Indian cricket owes him, rather than fading away into the oblivion of mediocrity...

Finally.....

First Ever Individual Gold

For now, lets put aside all the cynicism and negativity and just savor the moment.

Desis got talent

The original and the inspired.

Sublime? Ridiculous? Decide for yourself.

Goodness Gracious Me

I must've watched every episode atleast twice!
Wish they came back for another season...

A lot of the good stuff is on the tube. Sample this.

Gold ?

A point of view and another. Obviously not unbiased, but makes valid points.

I feel vindicated for buying gold at 1100/gm.

How to pick an autorickshaw in bangalore

I have travelled a lot in Bangalore's autorickshaws, and continue to do so. The reasons are mostly laziness, frustration in driving through traffic, difficulty in finding parking spots, etc... but that is besides the point.

Based on my vast experience in this domain, I have built up an intricate methodology of choosing a rick, which, for the greater benefit of (wo)mankind, I shall share on this forum. So here goes. The usual disclaimers apply.

1. The quest begins when you sight the quarry - an empty rick cruising at 10 kmph in the fastest lane. The game begins when the two of you make eye contact.

2. If the rick driver( henceforth referred to as Ricky. Not a coincidence that most of them are abrasive like the Aussie captain ) looks eagerly at you and makes towards you, something is seriously wrong. This is extremely abnormal behaviour for a ricky, and he is probably a Tupperware/Amway salesman or a serial killer. Or Mahesh Bhatt, scouting for talent to replace Emraan Hashmi. Run for your life.

3. If ricky either ignores you completely or looks at you in a disinterested way, thats the first positive signal. The chase is on in real earnest now.

4. Always look at the approaching ricky in a non-committal way. Dont ever show interest in your eyes. This is a valuable technique whose benefit will be demonstrated in later sections, for bailing out at the last moment.

5. Once it is ascertained that ricky might be right for you, we proceed to stage two - non-verbal negotiation.

6. Judge ricky. This is the most critical step in the entire exercise. Based on your eyesight and traffic, you get around 2-5 seconds to size up the individual. Following are tell-tale No-Go signs
- Ricky wears kumkum on forehead
- Ricky is young and looks like he just flunked Class 12.
- Ricky has a mush and a stubble. ( as opposed to a mush only or a full beard )
- Ricky has top two buttons of his shirt open
- Ricky wears gold chain
The rationale for these psycho-profiling pointers shall be covered in a different post.

Following are safe Go signs
- Ricky is an old man ( not old and weak )
- Ricky is middle-aged and follows traffic rules


6. Judge the rick. The rick tells a tale about the ricky. Following are clear No-Go signs
- Old ricks in bad condition ( Old ricks guzzle more fuel, and this will be passed on to the consumer. In the form of a doctored meter.)
- Rick has a Karnataka flag
- Rick has pimped-up speakers

Following are safe Go signs
- Rick has electronic meter and looks well-maintained.


7. If rick/ricky clears preliminary rick-profiling, then make clear eye-contact with ricky and summon the rick. In the unlikely event that ricky does indeed stop, proceed to phase 3 - verbal-negotiation.

8. The more important step - rick-profiling is Negative. This is where the bailing-out move comes in. Since you have not made clear eye-contact till now, you can just pretend to be looking at the cow/lamppost/girl on the opposite side of the street, and thus bail-out.

9. Phase 3 - Verbal negotiation. This is where coping with rejection will come in handy. Most ricky's stop only to humour themselves, and not to offer you a ride. Accept that fact of life. The rest of the negotiation is fairly standard, and need not be covered. The only hitch could be if you noticed something about ricky/rick from close quarters, that you missed from the distance. In such cases, use my patented dont-pick-me-up line -
" Thanisandra ge hogi, alli 2 hours waiting iddu, aamele Bidadi ge hogbeku. Barteera ? "
Its a sure-fire rick-magnet... repels ricks like the wrong end of a magnet.

10. Once inside the rick, sit tight and hope that ricky doesnt stop enroute to help out his fellow-ricky's in street fights.

Thats about it... Keep Rocking, Keep Ricking !

Betting on people

There should be a legal system to bet on people's success/failure. It will allow poor people like me to make some easy money.

You just know when you see certain people ( Priyanka Chopra, Paul Collingwood, Brendon McCullum ) that they are destined to make it big; however humble their beginnings.

You also know when u see certain other people ( countless boy/girl bands ) that, they are going to fade away from the limelight and from our collective consciousness, however aggressively they are marketed.

Very unfortunate that this cannot be translated into legal income in India (yet) :(

My Home Theater

... is almost complete.

It has been almost complete for 6 months now. First there is the cosy room, then there is the expensive 5.1 speaker system, and finally the obscenely expensive wiring. ( wonder how I fell for that one! )

Now all I need to complete the experience is... a f*****g TV !

Note to self: Be a man and do it this week...

Of phobias and nightmares

I've been having trouble sleeping at night for the last week or so... What better way to kill time than to add to the wealth of knowledge online :-)

A couple of months ago, my cousin, Sin, was narrating a disturbing dream that she had the previous night. Apparently, she dreamt that she was being attacked by a monstrous black cat. She woke up with a start, and couldnt sleep well for the remainder of the night. On the same topic, another cuz, Shu, started talking about some common nightmares that women frequently have( supposedly ). Seeing oneself with some physical deformity is the common theme of most of these nightmares. Eg. Loss of hair, teeth, scars on face etc. The psycho-analytic explanation of such dreams is apparently the insecurity of most people ( more so women than men ) about losing their physical attractiveness. Another common dream apparently concerns with the death of person(s) with whom one shares an emotional bond. Again, this is related to one's insecurities. Most other nightmares are apparently connected to recent events in one's life. For instance, the particular dream about a cat might have been due to the fact that she had just shut the window before sleeping, to keep a cat out.

I couldnt remember any nightmare I have ever had, and after some serious memory-digging, I realized that I had *never* had any nightmares in my entire life. My cousins were quite shocked, and also convinced that I was either lying thru my teeth, or was a very secure individual !

When I think about the same topic now, I still dont have a valid excuse(!) for not having nightmares, ever. The only plausible reason I can think of, is that I dont have any abnormal phobias.
I dont believe in ghosts or other evil supernatural forces ( which is quite strange, as I do believe in God ), and I would easily spend a night in a "haunted house" if required.
I love wildlife, and am particularly fascinated by reptiles. I have had too many close encounters with snakes to be scared of them. I have been charged by wild elephants and gotten dangerously close to a King Cobra and I still live to tell the tale.
I am not afraid of death or serious injury, nor of losing the people who really matter in my life.

Plus, I must've had a very happy childhood too...

All of this, or I might just be a very heavy sleeper with a bad memory ! :)

Road ahead for US Automakers

Sounds pretty grim. Will be interesting to see how the Fords & GMs cope; apart from trying to sell sub-standard cars such as the Chevrolet Aveo, in places like India !

George Carlin

ROTFL...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCljFYn3zTY

Recession 101

Michael Lewis(author of Liar's poker) writes on the ethical standards of Wall St

Deep-fried in contempt, but a realistic take nevertheless...

Food on Cunningham Road

Due to immense public demand ( public = my ex-colleagues at Amazon ), I am posting an insider's guide to fine dining in and around Cunningham Rd.

The eateries covered are in descending order of my preference, but there are so few places in this area, it really doesnt matter...


1. Ramana's - A great place in the Standard Chartered building on Cunningham Rd. Mellow ambience and mildly spicy veggie north-indian food that is easy on the tummy. The tariffs are quite reasonable for the location, and the service is pretty good. A place that you can visit daily without ruining your tummy or burning a hole in the pocket.

2. Masala House - A cosy little place tucked away in an unobtrusive location on Cunningham Rd, opposite MSIL. This is a slightly upscale place, and has a bar too. They have an interesting menu of veggie & non-veggie Indian food with some unconventional options. (I would recommend the sesame-fried babycorn appetizer) My non-veggie friends say that the place serves some good seafood too. The tariffs are quite high and the service is... well... dont go there if you are in a hurry !
I personally enjoy their paranthas and the sinful,heavenly Methi Malai Mutter...

3. InfiniTea - On Cunningham Rd, opposite Sigma Mall.
This is not really a lunch-lunch place, but does serve some interesting rice/pasta options. These can be combined with a variety of teas ( hot/cold/flavored ), to provide a light lunch-alternative. A note of warning - cheese seems to be the chef's favorite ingredient for most of the dishes.

4. Fresco's - On Cunningham Rd, close to Indian Express junction.
This again is not really a lunch-lunch place. The place does have more options than InfiniTea though; mostly continental. And they make a good Spanish Omelette.

5. Miller's 46 - At #46, Miller's Rd
A steak & sizzler joint. Good ambience, decent sizzlers, appropriate serving size for a lunch, and attached bar. Not many veggie options though. But worth a visit for the Corona Beer, and the gratis bread & butter. :)

6. Chalukya Hotel - High Grounds
One of the landmarks of the city, and not surprisingly, the place is chock-a-bloc at lunchtime. Serves a very respectable south-indian lunch buffet, which doesnt have too many options, but is quite wholesome. You can go a-la-carte too, though I've never tried that.

7. Moti Mahal, Sigma Mall
Very good Mughlai food, albeit at a ridiculously high price.

8. Oriental Spice, Infantry Road
Serves a decent Chinese buffet. But not very exciting, if you are a veggie.

9. Pizza Hut/ Domino's - On Cunningham Rd
Well... if pizza is what you want, you can get it here.

9a. Chandrika - Cunningham Rd
Basically a south-indian snack/coffee place, but he does serve the stereotypical north-indian thali. I reserve my comments on the quality of the food, and am covering this place only due to death threats received from certain quarters.

10. Food court, Sigma Mall
An assortment of places serving different cuisines. Most options are mediocre in taste, and mostly of the oily/greasy variety. Avoidable unless inevitable.

11. McDonald's, Sigma Mall
If burgers/pepsi/fries is what your heart wants...

12. Aura - Cunningham Rd
A nice place serving a good north-indian lunch buffet for 150 bucks. The place has shut shop now, but I thought it deserves an honourable mention...

Well, thats about it for the Cunningham Rd area.... If I have missed something, please do let me know...

Also, would really love to hear your opinions on the places covered !

Ads...

Started thinking about some of the ads from the past, and found a few of them...

The iconic black coffee ad. Talk about mindshare and brand recall !

Another cute one - Bru Coffee, capturing the quintessential south-indian psyche to a nicety...

A recent one, really cute and very retro - Tanishq.

There was this Yamaha ad, which was aired for a very brief while. The ad didnt strike any chord with the audience, but the song was great.

...and my personal favorite, the Hamara Bajaj ad.

I get goosebumps everytime this jingle is played. Wonder if its the ad, or just a sign that I am getting old...

The Science of Scotch

Here's something to lift your spirits....
http://nyas.cachefly.net/scotch.mp3

And more...
http://www.thescotchblog.com/2006/02/into_the_wood.html

The ubiquitous liftman

I find it very annoying when I enter an elevator in a public building, and find a lift operator within. I just don't understand the value that this individual adds to the situation. How hard is it to lift up a finger and push a button ? Instead, one is now compelled to have a conversation(albeit brief) with a person, who invariably looks extremely bored. ( can you really blame him ? )

An American friend and me went to a restaurant today, and seeing a lift operator there, we got to talking about this situation. Apparently, this is something rare in the US, and my friend was aghast that someone would actually choose this as a profession. The conversation veered to other things, but this got me thinking on the way back home...

Why does a business establishment hire a lift operator ? And why does a person choose to be a lift operator?

The second Q is probably easier to answer; most parts of India are still not "shining", and this is as good a job as many others for the man to put food on his family's table. ( I know for a fact that the lift operator at my previous office gets around Rs 4000/pm for his efforts, and he must be struggling to make ends meet in Bangalore. )

But, I wonder why an organization would feel the need to hire a lift operator...
To me, it can only be because they feel it is beneath their employees' dignity to operate an elevator for themselves. (not sure if the employees concur on this; most of my acquaintances share my view on the situation.)
This, combined with the fact that it costs next to nothing to hire a lift operator, reflects poorly on the state of our nation.

In my mind, India would be a step closer to "shining" when I no longer see any lift operators around. To me, it would indicate two things :
1. Each one of us doesnt believe it is beneath his/her dignity to perform simple tasks such as operating an elevator.
2. There are so many better employment opportunities available, that nobody wants to be a lift operator.

I miss my bike !

I really do... I never should have parted with my 2000-model Suzuki Fiero 150cc ride...

I cant help reminiscing about all those long rides that we used to go on, mostly in the middle of the night, when the world was sleeping... And you always treated me well; had only 3 serious falls and just one near-death moment !
But we had to move on... u understand right?
The big bad guv-ment wants me to wear a helmet... And the ride wouldnt be as enjoyable with protection, u know that, right ?

Anyway, thanks for the memories and hope you are doing good with your new ride... For me, there probably never will be another one after you... The car's not as exciting, but she cares more about me...